"Cinco de Mayo" means "Party" in Spanish, right?

My state, as of right now, is something along the lines of where-is-the-bed-so-I-can-coma-for-5-hours, with a mix of I'm-worrying-about-my-giddy-behavior-last-night, as there were too many boys eyeing me at once. Which, you know, is always good for the ol' ego.

I can't believe I'm typing this sentence out because it makes me feel like a plastic little party whore that skimps around in thongs and lip liner and then screams about which guys have hairy asses (quite the opposite of me): but, I drank a bit last night, which is good since I was around people who drank a whole lot more than me. Like, a freakish amount, so I fit right in. Around 40 loud people from the Film School (the majority of them a bit emo, and a few outsiders who tagged along) crammed into a small kitchen, living room, hallway, and balcony. The perfect setting for great fun. Literally every posse who walked through the door to join brought some alcoholic goodies like the Cinco de Mayo fairies. I had an entire bottle of Dos Equis with lime, but that's all. Just enough to calm my nerves since SF did tell Friend he was coming and I wanted to be prepared. Some friend's jaws dropped as I propped the beer bottle on the table and crammed in an entire slice of lime through the neck to a chorus of, "Whoa!" because they were shocked to see me holding alcohol. One of them even asked if it was water in there. Um, no, because that would be a lame use of a beer bottle.

I haven't laughed with so much ease in weeks. Or, you know, since the last party I attended, which was Ted's ridiculous birthday party in the Hills where DJ Beach Boy showed up and gave us a free live performance for a crowd of about 50 to 60.

About two and a half hours in I was so buzzed I was practically vibrating with joy and S leaned over and hissed, "There's a midget in the room." "What?!" I squealed. And, holy crap, he wasn't lying! Standing behind L was indeed a shirtless midget! Huzzah! The party was complete.

So. After being taunted by Ted, saying I was in love with him, O throwing bottle caps at C and C thinking it was me and screaming at me and then winking like the sly mofo he is, getting two phone numbers, eyeing a pair of Josh Hutcherson-lookalike twins, getting cake frosting thrown on me by C, watching BB bash a little pinata in the head, getting my car the heck out of the Ralph's parking lot and reparking it, getting thrown around by C (literally, he threw me on the couch), watching Sam the little person teach me how to play poker, and being kept company by BB after everyone left while I waited for Friend's bed to be unoccupied, I crawled under the covers next to Friend at 3:45 am and knocked out as she cried (that story is another novel on its own). Of course it was about a guy. She asked, if she was a lesbian, if I would be her girlfriend and I said yes, of course. She stopped crying. Problem solved.