Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Dear Guys I Know,


So last night I had a friend over (guy) and our goal was to go out and get candy to quiet this sweet tooth of mine. That's it. Just hang out with mouthfuls of chemicals and sugar and neon dyes. And that's what we did.
My new apartment has a shaggy green rug that resembles grass, so we sat across from each other with a small box of Bean Boozled and dared the other to eat the disgusting flavors like baby wipe, dog food, and booger. We played with my kitten and fake-danced to a dumb song.
Come 1 AM, I was starting to pass into the realm of exhaustion. My eyes didn't want to stay open at all and I was in no mood to get up and walk him down to the front door to say goodbye. So at 2 I offered if he wanted to stay over instead of walk home and he said sure. Technically I have a bunk bed that's separated. One bed for each.
Until he got into mine with me.
Here's some insight into what I was thinking: 1.) If I clearly offer you the other bed while you're lying in mine, it means I don't want you in my bed. 2.) Scoot the fuck over. 3.) Oh my God, I'm tired.
I did the only thing I could think of, which was turn away from him and pass out after some lengthy prank texting with a friend.
Before I fell asleep, he took my hand and kissed it and then held it for about 10 seconds before I folded my arms.
1.) It's pretty damn obvious I'm not pursuing you, dude. 2.) This might be romantic if we weren't strictly friends. 3.) Oh my God, I'm tired.
I even woke up around 6:30 to find him lying way too close to me but there wasn't much I could do but ask where my phone was in order to move away.
HINTS. I haz them.

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