Bristol Farms. It Even Sounds Heavenly.

SF, in all his kindness and good intentions, agreed to go with me to Bristol Farms considering I'm a virgin of the place and I think one trip is owed to everyone who lives in a suitable radius of one. Parking was a bitch (as is all parking in LA; I had to park at the drug store across the street), but once we made it inside, it was like, Where do I begin? I wanted to go everywhere at once! All over in one clean swoop instead of meander like I needed directions, which is what wound up happening. It is bigger than it looks on the outside, but not by much. The aisles are a tiny bit crammed, but nothing is out of place. It's all neat and organized. The Eggo waffles with the gluten-free organic ones.... Wait, what? That had to be one of the biggest head-turners. It was like a mix of Trader Joe's and Ralph's. European candy and Snickers? Fruit Loops and Annie's Bunnies? Thankfully they had a huge amount of store-made deli foods and buffets to make up for that fact. A whole roasted turkey just sitting under a hot lamp in its own juices! Clam chowder, potato salad, macaroni and cheese, Italian pasta, vegetable medley, huge artichokes, Lemonnaise (instead of mayonnaise). I would go on but I have to save room for the bakery's desserts. Smack dab in the middle of the store was a very well endowed bakery with entire cakes (not too big), 3-inch tall cupcakes, cookies, brownies, almond butter, gold leaf, dark chocolate banana bread samples (yummerz!), and pies. I got so excited at the sight of a lovely pink raspberry-lemon cupcake with white chocolate shavings that SF got it for me, along with an entire key lime pie. Everything cost $15. Not bad considering it's freshly made.

The only regrettable thing happened when SF and I were at the register and he was dancing elaborately to a song on the speakers. I nonchalantly swung my arm down to smack his leg saying, "Stop dancing," and missed by about half an inch and hit his, um, sensitives. He clammed up, but not enough for me to tell if I'd hurt him. On the way out he most definitely let it known that I had pretty much gotten none of his leg. It's just in my nature to do that when I think someone is embarrassing themselves. So I apologized profusely and thanked him for the cupcake. Suddenly I felt I didn't deserve it, so I let him have the first big bite. That should make up for it, yes?