My Halloween involved no candy and lots of beer pong.

(I know what you're thinking, What? No candy?! but honestly I didn't even notice.)
I don't want this article to be very long but I have a feeling there's no avoiding it.
I wasn't gonna go to the new party when Crystal told me the original party was canceled a few hours before. But I figured I would regret it if I didn't go since I've been very antisocial these past few weeks and I had to do Something or I'd just be doing nothing.
My costume was definitely half-assed. I don't like Halloween. I will never like Halloween just because it's Halloween. And I'll never like being forced to dress up as something nonhuman against my will. Except for last night. After much pondering at Alli's place with whiskers drawn on my face, a black nose, sparkly white and purple eyes, and black booties, I was definitely a last-minute polar bear with the help of a fuzzy white ear hat and white bandage dress (not mine).
Iris, Crystal's sister-in-law, dressed as a dead sexy soldier. Iris' best friend, Kelsey, who showed up last-minute, is a very pretty lesbian, and wore her regular boyish clothes and beanie with an added drawn mustache on her upper lip. Alli wasn't quite sure what was she was but she wore black angel wings, a masquerade mask, and black lace slip. Crystal was the Mad Hatter, which was mostly deadly make up and a little top hat and super-short black dress.
After a 45-minute drive to Redondo Beach, the first person we met amongst the haunted house decorations was Jessica, a pretty, impish looking girl with green tulle around her waist and green stockings and green hair spray and pine tree earrings. She was a car freshener and dead-set on memorizing our names. "Crystal, Alli, Juno, Iris, and Kelsey!" after five minutes of hit-and-miss. She offered us a drink and Iris and Kelsey practically shook with anticipation since they'd been waiting all night for one (or seven).
We entered the garage, which was set up for two beer pong games at a time, and discovered we actually knew quite a few people in the crowd. After mingling with the girls for a few minutes and sharing costume explanations (Madonna, Taylor Swift, gay offspring, Alice, etc.), we were in the kitchen again joined by some Indians getting our pictures taken with a thousand-dollar camera.
I met this Nacho Libre guy from Mexico (who sounds European) who became rather attached to me throughout the middle of the party, maybe because I was nice and we could carry conversation. But after a while he wouldn't stop asking questions and touching my hand in the midst of me feeling very sleepy and not caring (beer does that). I adored him; he was very nice, but he didn't have to be around me so much. There were other people to mingle with who were not slutty polar bears. So I left the balcony and went downstairs to join familiars on the couch in the dark. Nacho showed up again so ten minutes later I went back up to the balcony because I was so tired of answering the same questions, "Are you ok? You just tired?" Fuck. Yes, I'm fine.
On the cold balcony, my friend, Dark, gave me his jacket and analyzed what it looked like on a girl in amazement. Our friend Andrew was laughing at Dark's attempts to hit on me and Dark said, "How can you not hit on Juno? She's a polar bear." I said Andrew was the only one who's been resistant to my bandage dress powers, which is either true or a sign of denial on his part. Dark asked me to dance with him and I said he should've asked me an hour ago when my feet didn't hurt. "I don't give a fuck how much you don't wanna dance," he told me. "I don't give a fuck how much you want to dance with me," I told him. He came up close to me and asked again nicely to dance. "No," I said, completely high from people's need to do "stuff" with me and take pictures of me and ask questions I didn't care about.
We left around 2:30. It was freezing out. While standing at the doorway, Andrew and Dark were on the couch. Andrew said Dark was drunk and that's why he hit on me. Dark said, "Don't listen to that." I told Andrew this was a routine of his for every party so I was used to it.
On our way to the car, I heard a guy calling from the balcony and knew it was for me since he said, "Hey, cat! Nice legs! I like your legs!" I said thank you. My polar bear powers.