I believe it's called paranoia...

I would write this article in French, but sometimes it's hard to get the right sense of humor across in a different language. So I'm sticking with American.
I didn't think last night would actually happen after moving into this apartment, but it did. I was tossing and turning, burning up but reluctant to remove the covers, and looking around every time I opened my eyes. I was afraid. But why? At one point, it was about 2AM and I was drifting to sleep, and I opened my eyes when I felt the bed shake. Tucker was moving next to me, but did he really cause that shake? Or did I  do it, I just wasn't aware? Neither of those made much sense. Tucker's a 6 month-old cat. And on my left side, I don't know if it was just my body relaxing or if it really did feel like something pushing the covers under my ribs, as if to tuck me in or whatever.
I even had a dream that I woke up one morning to find my CD player close shut and play music on its own, at which point I went next door to my mom's apartment (we were in a boarding house-type place) so  she could grab a Bible and take it into my room. The Bible shook terribly in her hands, like a radar, and that confirmed my worst fears.
I've always had a terrible phobia like this. It goes up and down. For the passed few months it's been a pretty quiet whisper, but ever since Halloween has flashed commercials for horror movies in my face during Glee, it's shot back up to a dull roar. Especially the Paranormal Activity 2 trailer that I can't seem to get away from even on Hulu.com. The grotesque thing is that I tend to apply those scenarios to my own life for some reason. I can't help it. They just play out with no Stop button. All it takes is one little commercial and the idea spreads like wildfire. Then I have to wait at least five or six days to convince myself that nothing is wrong, nothing will happen.
I have a friend who says she loves scary movies. She just thinks it's fun to feel scared, like it's some form of entertainment and enjoyment. I'd rather have that attitude towards horror flicks to save myself from the night sweats because it sucks not wanting to even glance at my mirrors for fear I'd see something I don't want to see. The feeling just sits in my body and rots, digging holes, drying me up inside. I can't wait till I'm 25 and won't give a damn no matter what I see.